On with the program....

I had decided that we were going to give the trying on our own til June before we went to any fertility clinics but a talk with one of my owners changed my mind. I just turned 39 on the 24th of January and she thought I had waited long enough and basically told me what I knew that I needed to get going now. This talk was on the 15th or 16th and I had an appt with a clinic scheduled for the 19th.

The appt was just a consultation with the doctor. We brought our test results from our OB and he looked those over and asked us some questions. We have been together for 12 1/2 years married for 6 1/2 of those years and we have never used any birth control. He thought it odd that all of a sudden in '05 I was pregnant twice when the other years I never got pregnant. Well, long story short, J is fine, semen analysis was good so he doesn't have to be tested for anything. I, on the other hand had a litany of tests to get done. He basically wants to check to see if my tubes are open, make sure I am ovulating and check the quality of my eggs.

I have done or had all the tests scheduled except for the HSG test, which is probably the most important test because it is the one to see if my tubes are open. This test has to be done between CD6-11. Well, guess what? It has to be pre-approved by my insurance company first. The doc at the clinic has to send them the reason why this needs to be done, then the insurance company either approves or disapproves that the test can be covered. In the meantime I am in the middle of my cylcle with day 11 being on the 1st of Feb. How much ya wanna bet they don't get this approved in time for me to be tested this cycle?

This makes me glad that I was talked into starting now as oppposed to waiting til June. Can you imagine waiting six months and then having to wait even longer because of insurance redtape?

In other news, my sister is doing well. She says we were more upset about the miscarriage than she was.

My nephew Aidan, niece Toren and sister Nancy are coming up for the weekend from NC. We are going to be celebrating mine(1/24), Toren's(1/25) and Nancy's (1/23) bdays at the Washington Capitals hockey game on Saturday. This is a family tradition going back as far as I can remember. Before Toren was born it was Nancy and I going to the game closest to our bdays and once Toren got here she was added to the mix. There's going to be 12 of us going and we are all sitting in club level. To those not in the know, that is the hooity-tooity section of the arena. The seats were $90 a pop but I only paid for some of them, four I think, I got cash from the others that are going.

I have been a Caps fan since the first year in 1974 so you can say it's in my blood. My dad was a big time fan and he had season tickets for the first ten seasons and never missed a home game in those ten years. When he died in Jan of 05 I told mom that it was the lack of hockey that killed him. The NHL players had been on strike or locked out and the whole season was scrapped. I am such a fan that I went and got a tattoo of the Caps eagle logo on Saturday. I'll see if I can post it here.

Shit! I wasn't expecting this....

My pregnant sister called me yesterday after her sonagram with bad news. They couldn't find a heartbeat. She was 8 or 9 weeks along according to her calculations. They gave her the option of letting nature take its course or having a D&C. She opted for a D&C. I didn't know what to say to her. She is the one sister of the four of us(plus 4 brothers) that I am the closest to. I know I was jealous of her but I didn't want this to happen. I told her I was sorry about five times and told her if there was anything she needed to call me. I am about 2 1/2 hours away from her.

We were already planning on going down there Saturday to check on our house and see everyone. I guess we will be for sure stopping by to see her. I hope she is okay and can carry on with life after this. She is a very strong woman and I know she will.

This makes me more Determined that this is my year!

I just talked to my newly pregnant sister and I confirmed something that I wasn't totally sure about. After she had told me that she was pregnant I remembered that she had a cyst on her ovary a few years back and she had surgery to remove it. I couldn't remember if they had just removed the cyst or the cyst and the ovary. Well, surprise, surprise, they removed the ovary. So, my 33 sister who has an 18 year old and a 13 year old got pregnant while only having one ovary.

SHOOT ME NOW!!!!! PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!!!!!!!

Okay, I've calmed down some and now I have decided that come hell or high water I am going to do whatever it takes so that I will get pregnant in 2007!!!!

That's all for now, I'm heading home from work so I can drink some beer, smoke some cigarettes and watch some hockey. I might as well enjoy it now while I can because after the 27th of January I'm on with the program!!!!!!!!!

Two reasons why I want one.....

Here are two reasons why I want one of my own. The picture on the bottom is my nephew Aidan at his first day of kindergarden in Germany. He is 5 and a half and is now back in the states after his mom(my sis) was medically discharged from the Air Force. The picture on the top is my nephew/godson Alex when we visited them in Atlanta this past summer. He is such a cutie!! He calls my husband the brown James and he is the white James (his middle name is James). I try to call my brother at least once a week so I can talk to Alex. Most of the time he talks to me for a minute or two and then asks where James is and can he talk to him.

There is something about my husband that animals and kids just gravitate to. All of my nieces and nephews just love him. He has four of their names tattooed on his left arm between his shoulder and his elbow. My oldest niece Jasmine (18) calls it the "arm of fame". I guess he might need to make room for one more once my sis has her baby. Strike that he needs to make room for two more because I am determined we are going to have a baby this year!!!! I gotta stay positive right?

Getting on with the plan

I have called my regular doctor and made an appointment for a physical for the 23rd of January and I have sceduled an annual checkup with my OB for January 12th.

I guess I forgot to mention that I'm a smoker, I have decided and of course, I've been nagged by friends, family and physicians to quit. I'm going to see if the OB can prescribe this new drug Chantix that is supposed to work on the cravings part of withdrawal. When I was pregnant last November I got down to 2 or three cigarettes a day. That was pretty good considering I smoked a pack and a half (that's 30 cigarettes a day to you nonsmokers).

Here's to sticking with the plan and having a baby in 2007!!!! I guess you can say I am making my New Year's resoulutions early to get a jump on everyone else. More to come.

My hubby and the "Favorites"

Here's a picture of myself, my husband, my niece Toren (next to my husband with the jersey with a 3 in it), my niece Jasmine and my nephew Aidan. These are my favorites, I know I'm not supposed to have favorites but they are the three that I was there for when they were born, literally!!!!

Third Time's the charm

I have tried to start a blog two times already but I guess I wasn't motivated enough. Now I think I am. The catalyst for me deciding to do this again was my 36 year old sister telling me on Friday that she is pregnant. Why would this get me motivated you ask? My husband and I have been together almost thirteen years and married for almost seven and we have been trying to have kids for oh, let's say at least 12 of those years. I have had two miscarriages that I know of and we have each been tested for almost everything under the sun. The doctor can't find anything out of the ordinary. My sister has two daughters, one 18 and one 13. I don't know if she was trying to get pregnant or not but obviously she doesn't have any problems in that department. After I got over my shock at the news, I did hug her and congratulate her but deep down inside I was sad at the news. I know that sounds really selfish, but all I want is one and I don't understand why I haven't had any success.

To give you a little background on this, I am 39 years old the 4th of eight kids. My mom had no problem getting pregnant, she had nine pregnancies in 11 years. My grandmother had 10 kids. My oldest sister has three kids, the pregnant sister is on her third and my baby sister has one child. I am the only sister who is or has been married and I am the only sister who has no kids. I'm actually the only one of the eight of us who has never had kids. Don't get me wrong I love my nieces and nephews some more than others but that is only because I was there for their births so I feel a little closer to them and I am around them more than the others.

I told myself after my sister dropped the bomb on us, that I was going to do everything possible to try and get pregnant starting as soon as my next fertile time comes around. So there you have it, my motivation to get this blog going!

I am going to post on here every day whether anyone else sees it or not. I need to do something to keep me focused on my goal. I actually need to get on the phone now and make an appointment with my general doctor for a physical and with my ob to get an annual check up with him.

So here's to my third start at trying to get this blog off the ground!!!